Tard.
Never has something so simple been so complex.
Tard is not based on one person, but rather an amalgam of a number of individuals. At the core, he is a stereotypical redneck. But, two small characteristics I see elsewhere really define him.
The first is his name. There is an actual Tard; I met him. I went to a pool party and one of the attendees was nicknamed Tard behind his back. The others call him that for the same reason Tard is in the story; he is rather slow. Now real-life Tard is a follower and not the smartest one in an empty room. But he has a big heart too.
By having him know his nickname really changes who he is. Knowing that he is referred as a slower person, changes how I think he would deal with others. Tard would do what he had to in order to prove himself worthy. One of the strengths of Tard is his loyalty, and he knows that makes him valuable.
The other thing that defines Tard is his quirky awkwardness. When I worked in a call center, there was this guy named Rod. Rod tried to pick up on any woman he could. He wasn't bad looking, but he wasn't outstanding either. His social skills needed help, a lot of help.
He once hit on a woman, Angie, who just announced she was getting engaged the to another employee that we worked with. Rod kept making the moves on her and she would just lean on the desk deliberately, obviously, and pointedly playing with her engagement ring. And yet he continued. When he finally asked her to go out, she tore into him. It was this tearing into that I was able to overhear. She told him that she would never go out with someone who shops at airport gift shops. That really defined his look. Everyday he wore a wolf T-Shirt. We counted at least 8 shirts. Needless to say that he never got that date.
So I made Tard have the same awkwardness. Having him fuck and howl as if he was a wolf is very humorous. Having him grunt after every fourth bob of the head was even more ridiculous. I have been asked if I ever encountered the grunting. I would say no. I did, however, have boring sex before where I was giving head and my thoughts drifted away from the cock at hand onto rather trivial things. The story kinda emulated that boredom.
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